dare to dream.

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

repeat.

Mom reminded me to keep my pride in check today.

She says that I have a tendency to blame people for the things that I cannot do.

And she's right.

It's been on my mind since earlier this afternoon and it's slowly eating me up bit by bit. Humility is what I need to learn. Not the false, on the surface type; but something that goes beyond that, deep into the core.

A part of me -as much as I hate to admit it- thrives compliments, praises and recognition. I don't like that part of me and I'm trying to change. The process is slow.

I have done so many wrong things, and these are the things that are keeping me away from God. I feel guilt, shame and pain. It's during the night where it hits me the most, just before I'm about to sleep, the thoughts come and haunt me; mock me; yelling all my inadequacies out loud in my head.

I want them to stop. I want to stop feeling not good enough. I seek something more from this life. I know I am made to do something more than this. But what is that thing?

It keeps replaying inside my head, like a record on repeat. Beep, beep. Beep, beep.

Monday, August 20, 2012

I've been thinking for a long time now

You and me; me and you

Something just doesn't seem right

I can feel it; I know you can too.

Something so deep, it cuts through the surface

It's something that we had hope would pass

but it's too late now

Time to unveil the elephant in the room

It was my insecurities and your doubts

The distance and everything around.

All the unspoken hurt and desires

The things we were too afraid to voice out

We're so much alike but different altogether

It was something that was supposed to be

But somehow, we missed it

And now it's slipped past our fingertips

They say sometimes the stars align

and two people would find the much coveted happily ever after together

Perhaps there might be a chance for us

Maybe it's just not for us now.

Or maybe this is just a test of sorts.

One that shakes our very foundation

To make us doubt ourselves, our feelings

Until we slowly lose our ground

and we fall.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

I was driving downtown earlier today and I saw a couple holding hands and smiling at each other. It was as if they were in their own world and nothing else mattered. I thought to myself "That was us. What we used to be; carefree and happy."

What happened?

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

a brand new dawn

I'm actually surprised at how I am reacting to everything at the moment. I've always told myself to accept you for who you are, your flaws and all the other things in between. After all, being able to compromise is important. Moreover, no one is perfect and that's what makes us who we are. These days all these things just do not seems as important anymore.

After that day, I started seeing you in a different light. In the midst of all the love, pain and anger, I'm slowly seeing the things that I had never bothered to acknowledge. To be very frank, I'm slowly taking you off the pedestal that I conjured up in my mind ever since the beginning of you and I. It's not like I worship you or anything. In fact, it's far from that. I guess I just thought of you as this wonderful individual who was caring, kind and loving to every single person. Someone who is sincere and one whom I'd like to learn from. There's still qualities in you that I admire, but I'm slowly beginning to see the other side of you as well. The one whom I have been giving excuses for the things that he did not do and the things he did that irked me.

I yearn for protection, but you just don't give much of a flying finger anymore (and if you do, you've got a funny way of showing it by not doing anything). You've showed me that not once, but twice. Think, and think hard. I'm sure you'll remember it soon enough.

Well, that's just me pouring out what's on my mind at the moment. I could be wrong, and I could be right. We'll just have to see when the time comes.

Good night world.

Zoe


boo. my name's zoe lee (: currently studying business economics and finance in NOTTINGham. i'm 21! goin' on the big TWO-TWO :D and i'm from kuching! I think I am pretty normal for a nineteen year old. I fall down a lot, laugh a lot, hide a lot of things from people and all those other things. What about you? Psalm 23 ♥ You can mail me at: zoegal@hotmail.com faith.life.zoe@gmail.com my facebook oh.so.Perez fwishy-chan kryz n cow! euNICE LOVElyn charmzz mable/mushie xia xue kenny sia sammy aw :D Char bonggg gabby Nicole ah yan Tracieeee joo :P Jasmine yann yi/KAKAK (: licia :D kathie <3 Chen Chen timmy voon chickenJoey Jasmine anisSa wafflee jia yingg DIandra ashLEy LEE fausTINE ziannerr Jolina fIOn VANessa sarah!! sammy sii zoe n mel lieezaaa(: lyssa Reening NANA anastasia Yan HUI bryan (: April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 September 2011 January 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 December 2013 Bituwin - template Dementee - image put ur dingdong in the ayer -Hui Na If you HATE me then God bless you (:	Tuesday, August 21, 2012 repeat. Mom reminded me to keep my pride in check today. She says that I have a tendency to blame people for the things that I cannot do. And she's right. It's been on my mind since earlier this afternoon and it's slowly eating me up bit by bit. Humility is what I need to learn. Not the false, on the surface type; but something that goes beyond that, deep into the core. A part of me -as much as I hate to admit it- thrives compliments, praises and recognition. I don't like that part of me and I'm trying to change. The process is slow. I have done so many wrong things, and these are the things that are keeping me away from God. I feel guilt, shame and pain. It's during the night where it hits me the most, just before I'm about to sleep, the thoughts come and haunt me; mock me; yelling all my inadequacies out loud in my head. I want them to stop. I want to stop feeling not good enough. I seek something more from this life. I know I am made to do something more than this. But what is that thing? It keeps replaying inside my head, like a record on repeat. Beep, beep. Beep, beep. 4:46 PM · Monday, August 20, 2012 I've been thinking for a long time now You and me; me and you Something just doesn't seem right I can feel it; I know you can too. Something so deep, it cuts through the surface It's something that we had hope would pass but it's too late now Time to unveil the elephant in the room It was my insecurities and your doubts The distance and everything around. All the unspoken hurt and desires The things we were too afraid to voice out We're so much alike but different altogether It was something that was supposed to be But somehow, we missed it And now it's slipped past our fingertips They say sometimes the stars align and two people would find the much coveted happily ever after together Perhaps there might be a chance for us Maybe it's just not for us now. Or maybe this is just a test of sorts. One that shakes our very foundation To make us doubt ourselves, our feelings Until we slowly lose our ground and we fall. 1:01 AM · Saturday, August 18, 2012 I was driving downtown earlier today and I saw a couple holding hands and smiling at each other. It was as if they were in their own world and nothing else mattered. I thought to myself "That was us. What we used to be; carefree and happy." What happened? 7:57 PM · Tuesday, August 14, 2012 a brand new dawn I'm actually surprised at how I am reacting to everything at the moment. I've always told myself to accept you for who you are, your flaws and all the other things in between. After all, being able to compromise is important. Moreover, no one is perfect and that's what makes us who we are. These days all these things just do not seems as important anymore. After that day, I started seeing you in a different light. In the midst of all the love, pain and anger, I'm slowly seeing the things that I had never bothered to acknowledge. To be very frank, I'm slowly taking you off the pedestal that I conjured up in my mind ever since the beginning of you and I. It's not like I worship you or anything. In fact, it's far from that. I guess I just thought of you as this wonderful individual who was caring, kind and loving to every single person. Someone who is sincere and one whom I'd like to learn from. There's still qualities in you that I admire, but I'm slowly beginning to see the other side of you as well. The one whom I have been giving excuses for the things that he did not do and the things he did that irked me. I yearn for protection, but you just don't give much of a flying finger anymore (and if you do, you've got a funny way of showing it by not doing anything). You've showed me that not once, but twice. Think, and think hard. I'm sure you'll remember it soon enough. Well, that's just me pouring out what's on my mind at the moment. I could be wrong, and I could be right. We'll just have to see when the time comes. Good night world. Zoe 11:23 PM ·