dare to dream.

Monday, December 02, 2013

I know you think you're not good enough.
I don't think I am either.
But I don't care.
I love you.
It is YOU that I want.

No one else.
Can we please just let this go?
I want to talk to you.
I want to be able to be honest with you.

I do love you, maybe even more than I should.
The wait is torturous.

You're 8,405 miles away.
But it's okay.
I still want you.
I know you want me too.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

six degrees of separation

The above song is right on so many levels.

It's amazing how one person can pen down all these emotions that we go through during a break up and then turn it into a song.

Danny O'Donoghue, you are amazing.

I was just looking back at these past few months and I realized how much I've changed -and how much things have changed- since I came back from Australia.

Sure, there were more ups than downs, but it was the downs that made me realize I could do so much more, endure so much more, than I previously thought I could.

It was through the pain that I found strength.

Through the pain, I found refuge in God, my family and friends.

Through the pain, I found myself again.

For that, I need to thank you.

I went through hell and came back, alive and changed.

It was anything but a stroll in the park, that's for sure.

But it opened my eyes to see things clearly.

All the wrongs and the rights.

The good and the bad.

I had my own unresolved issues when everything first started.

But we still rushed into things anyway.

I wished I had waited.

At least I now know what to do and what not to do.

I wouldn't change that for the world.

I've finally found the balls to throw most of the things away or gave it to people.

It's like every single time I do, I feel a weight being lifted off my shoulder.

It's an awesome feeling, really.

There's no point holding on to something that isn't there anymore.

Right now, I am at my happy place.

Of course a pang of sadness would sometimes seep into my day.

But it's all a part of life and I've learned not to dwell on it.

It will, after all, pass.

I am blessed in so many ways.

I am thankful.

I am especially thankful for my mom.

Yes, she can be annoying and frustrating sometimes.

But she is amazing.

She has done so many things for my brother and I.

What you said previously was just a load of BS.

Everyone has their flaws.

I know she has hurt you previously but that does not give you the right to say the things that you said about her, no matter how true or how false it may be.

Have you ever looked at yourself from a third party's perspective?

There's so much more to a person's behavior than you can ever imagine.

What if I were to say things like that about YOUR mother.

How would YOU feel?

I am sorry you met my whole family.

I am sorry I brought you to grandma's grave.

You were important to me then but not anymore.

Friday, March 15, 2013

i am.

I am a conformist.
I enjoy following societal norms.

I am ignorant.
I choose not to care.

I am careless.
I conjure up assumptions in my head.

I am guarded.
I don't want to let anyone in.

I am emotional.
I get upset easily.

I am trying.
I sometimes feel like it's not good enough

I am human.
I make mistakes all the time.

I am a sinner.
I have fallen short of God's glory.

I am a learner.
I will learn from my slip ups.

I am faithful.
I believe there is a way out of this.

I am hopeful.
I know You will always be there.

I am thankful.
I sing praises to Your name.

Thursday, February 07, 2013

I used to inflict pain on myself back when I was younger.
I didn't know better then.
I probably haven't got much figured out now either but I've found a different way to deal with things.

I secretly think my family is slowly falling apart from the inside.
During our family dinner earlier tonight, none of my cousins were communicating with one another, each busy with their phones.
We used to be able to talk a whole heap of crap when we meet.
Now everyone's just hostile and shit.
I dislike it a lot. I mean, we're a family, we're supposed to be communicating with one another. Not busy tapping away on our phones.

I want to do something about it.
I am going to do something about it soon.
Things cannot go on like this. It's just not right.

Therein lies the problem: I don't know where to start.

Yesterday, I went over to Ode's place and we had a lovely chat about things.
We finally disposed of the box together, alongside with the memories that were made.
It felt exhilarating and wonderful to be freed from that emotional bondage.
I can't wait for the next phase in life to start.

I just miss being able to hold hands and cuddle with a person. It always makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, not to mention protected too (: too bad Ode does not feel the same way.

I think I'm a tad bit childish when it comes to relationships.
Hm.

Saturday, February 02, 2013

six months

Breathe.

Just a little more time

Just a little more effort

Just a little bit more.

You'll get through this just fine.

We'll get through this all right.

You.

It always comes right back to you

The one who took the very best of me

You broke my defenses and swept me off my feet.

I was merely a phase.

Something to have, to hold and then erased.

Forget.

Forget everything that I've ever known,

About me, about you, about us.

And move on with life.

Gone are the plans made

And I spiral back down to reality.

Afraid.

Because of you I am afraid.

Afraid to fall.

Afraid to give.

Afraid to let anyone in.

One... Two... Three... Four.

There's nothing left here anymore.

Five... Six... Seven... Eight.

Sometimes it's just too little too late.

The randomness that takes over in the middle of the night never ceases to amaze me.

I'm off to bed.

As usual, God bless and g'night!

Love,

Zoe

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

random rambles.

I'm currently stuck in this place or state or whatever you choose to call it.

A state of wanting to leave and stay at the same time.

Of wanting to hold on but I know that if I don't let go, I would end up hurting myself.

It sucks that I'll be finishing my studies in June.

I don't want my university life to end just yet.

4 years is just too soon!

But at the same time, I can't wait to start working and earning money.

I can't wait to help mom lighten the burden on her shoulders.

I can see her getting older and older as each year passes.

I just want to be able to carry that load with her.

To help pay off the house loan.

To get her a new car.

To help fund my brother's education.

And the list goes on and on.

I am terrified yet excited about my future.

I don't know what's in stored for me after I graduate.

There's one thing that's for sure though:

I want a job that not only enriches my own life, but others as well.

I'm thinking of going into something akin to Teach For Malaysia.

Then again, I'm not too sure if I can teach.

Well, enough rambling for tonight.

G'night world. Thanks for reading (:

Regards,

Zoe

Thursday, January 24, 2013

t'was a night in the airport.

I can't believe the first semester of my final year is finally over.

Exam were... Tough but great.

I had three papers back to back but it was cause of the hectic schedule that my friends and I grew closer to one another.

Well, more like I started connecting more and more with them again.

Staying up till wee hours in the morning to support each other, giving each other wake up calls.

The whole experience was wonderful, and I had fun :D

Hopefully, my results would come out okay :|

It was because of all of them that things are better now.

I stop relating things to him, or to anything that we shared before.

My room is now MY ROOM and not a place where we used to hang out and talk about our deepest emotions.

The things that he gave me are now merely objects that were given to me by a person and they bear no emotional hold over me like they used to.

I reckon him leaving KL was probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me ever since the breakup.

Not seeing him has helped me in many different ways.

I'm slowly understanding the meaning of getting over you.

It's when I no longer relate the things that I do to you.

And when thoughts of you no longer cloud my mind.

Yes, you pop into my mind sometimes, and yes, it does hurt a little bit.

But I'm okay, you know.

I think about the memories that we shared and I'm okay.

I'm glad I met you.

I'm glad you were once a big part of my life.

But that's all there is now.

Nothing more, nothing less.

I hope you're truly getting on fine too.


boo. my name's zoe lee (: currently studying business economics and finance in NOTTINGham. i'm 21! goin' on the big TWO-TWO :D and i'm from kuching! I think I am pretty normal for a nineteen year old. I fall down a lot, laugh a lot, hide a lot of things from people and all those other things. What about you? Psalm 23 ♥ You can mail me at: zoegal@hotmail.com faith.life.zoe@gmail.com my facebook oh.so.Perez fwishy-chan kryz n cow! euNICE LOVElyn charmzz mable/mushie xia xue kenny sia sammy aw :D Char bonggg gabby Nicole ah yan Tracieeee joo :P Jasmine yann yi/KAKAK (: licia :D kathie <3 Chen Chen timmy voon chickenJoey Jasmine anisSa wafflee jia yingg DIandra ashLEy LEE fausTINE ziannerr Jolina fIOn VANessa sarah!! sammy sii zoe n mel lieezaaa(: lyssa Reening NANA anastasia Yan HUI bryan (: April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 December 2009 January 2010 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 September 2011 January 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 March 2013 December 2013 Bituwin - template Dementee - image put ur dingdong in the ayer -Hui Na If you HATE me then God bless you (:	Monday, December 02, 2013 I know you think you're not good enough. I don't think I am either. But I don't care. I love you. It is YOU that I want. No one else. Can we please just let this go? I want to talk to you. I want to be able to be honest with you. I do love you, maybe even more than I should. The wait is torturous. You're 8,405 miles away. But it's okay. I still want you. I know you want me too. 11:05 PM · Tuesday, March 26, 2013 six degrees of separation The above song is right on so many levels. It's amazing how one person can pen down all these emotions that we go through during a break up and then turn it into a song. Danny O'Donoghue, you are amazing. I was just looking back at these past few months and I realized how much I've changed -and how much things have changed- since I came back from Australia. Sure, there were more ups than downs, but it was the downs that made me realize I could do so much more, endure so much more, than I previously thought I could. It was through the pain that I found strength. Through the pain, I found refuge in God, my family and friends. Through the pain, I found myself again. For that, I need to thank you. I went through hell and came back, alive and changed. It was anything but a stroll in the park, that's for sure. But it opened my eyes to see things clearly. All the wrongs and the rights. The good and the bad. I had my own unresolved issues when everything first started. But we still rushed into things anyway. I wished I had waited. At least I now know what to do and what not to do. I wouldn't change that for the world. I've finally found the balls to throw most of the things away or gave it to people. It's like every single time I do, I feel a weight being lifted off my shoulder. It's an awesome feeling, really. There's no point holding on to something that isn't there anymore. Right now, I am at my happy place. Of course a pang of sadness would sometimes seep into my day. But it's all a part of life and I've learned not to dwell on it. It will, after all, pass. I am blessed in so many ways. I am thankful. I am especially thankful for my mom. Yes, she can be annoying and frustrating sometimes. But she is amazing. She has done so many things for my brother and I. What you said previously was just a load of BS. Everyone has their flaws. I know she has hurt you previously but that does not give you the right to say the things that you said about her, no matter how true or how false it may be. Have you ever looked at yourself from a third party's perspective? There's so much more to a person's behavior than you can ever imagine. What if I were to say things like that about YOUR mother. How would YOU feel? I am sorry you met my whole family. I am sorry I brought you to grandma's grave. You were important to me then but not anymore. 6:00 AM · Friday, March 15, 2013 i am. I am a conformist. I enjoy following societal norms. I am ignorant. I choose not to care. I am careless. I conjure up assumptions in my head. I am guarded. I don't want to let anyone in. I am emotional. I get upset easily. I am trying. I sometimes feel like it's not good enough I am human. I make mistakes all the time. I am a sinner. I have fallen short of God's glory. I am a learner. I will learn from my slip ups. I am faithful. I believe there is a way out of this. I am hopeful. I know You will always be there. I am thankful. I sing praises to Your name. 12:43 AM · Thursday, February 07, 2013 I used to inflict pain on myself back when I was younger. I didn't know better then. I probably haven't got much figured out now either but I've found a different way to deal with things. I secretly think my family is slowly falling apart from the inside. During our family dinner earlier tonight, none of my cousins were communicating with one another, each busy with their phones. We used to be able to talk a whole heap of crap when we meet. Now everyone's just hostile and shit. I dislike it a lot. I mean, we're a family, we're supposed to be communicating with one another. Not busy tapping away on our phones. I want to do something about it. I am going to do something about it soon. Things cannot go on like this. It's just not right. Therein lies the problem: I don't know where to start. Yesterday, I went over to Ode's place and we had a lovely chat about things. We finally disposed of the box together, alongside with the memories that were made. It felt exhilarating and wonderful to be freed from that emotional bondage. I can't wait for the next phase in life to start. I just miss being able to hold hands and cuddle with a person. It always makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside, not to mention protected too (: too bad Ode does not feel the same way. I think I'm a tad bit childish when it comes to relationships. Hm. 12:58 AM · Saturday, February 02, 2013 six months Breathe. Just a little more time Just a little more effort Just a little bit more. You'll get through this just fine. We'll get through this all right. You. It always comes right back to you The one who took the very best of me You broke my defenses and swept me off my feet. I was merely a phase. Something to have, to hold and then erased. Forget. Forget everything that I've ever known, About me, about you, about us. And move on with life. Gone are the plans made And I spiral back down to reality. Afraid. Because of you I am afraid. Afraid to fall. Afraid to give. Afraid to let anyone in. One... Two... Three... Four. There's nothing left here anymore. Five... Six... Seven... Eight. Sometimes it's just too little too late. The randomness that takes over in the middle of the night never ceases to amaze me. I'm off to bed. As usual, God bless and g'night! Love, Zoe 1:40 AM · Wednesday, January 30, 2013 random rambles. I'm currently stuck in this place or state or whatever you choose to call it. A state of wanting to leave and stay at the same time. Of wanting to hold on but I know that if I don't let go, I would end up hurting myself. It sucks that I'll be finishing my studies in June. I don't want my university life to end just yet. 4 years is just too soon! But at the same time, I can't wait to start working and earning money. I can't wait to help mom lighten the burden on her shoulders. I can see her getting older and older as each year passes. I just want to be able to carry that load with her. To help pay off the house loan. To get her a new car. To help fund my brother's education. And the list goes on and on. I am terrified yet excited about my future. I don't know what's in stored for me after I graduate. There's one thing that's for sure though: I want a job that not only enriches my own life, but others as well. I'm thinking of going into something akin to Teach For Malaysia. Then again, I'm not too sure if I can teach. Well, enough rambling for tonight. G'night world. Thanks for reading (: Regards, Zoe 1:12 AM · Thursday, January 24, 2013 t'was a night in the airport. I can't believe the first semester of my final year is finally over. Exam were... Tough but great. I had three papers back to back but it was cause of the hectic schedule that my friends and I grew closer to one another. Well, more like I started connecting more and more with them again. Staying up till wee hours in the morning to support each other, giving each other wake up calls. The whole experience was wonderful, and I had fun :D Hopefully, my results would come out okay :\| It was because of all of them that things are better now. I stop relating things to him, or to anything that we shared before. My room is now MY ROOM and not a place where we used to hang out and talk about our deepest emotions. The things that he gave me are now merely objects that were given to me by a person and they bear no emotional hold over me like they used to. I reckon him leaving KL was probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me ever since the breakup. Not seeing him has helped me in many different ways. I'm slowly understanding the meaning of getting over you. It's when I no longer relate the things that I do to you. And when thoughts of you no longer cloud my mind. Yes, you pop into my mind sometimes, and yes, it does hurt a little bit. But I'm okay, you know. I think about the memories that we shared and I'm okay. I'm glad I met you. I'm glad you were once a big part of my life. But that's all there is now. Nothing more, nothing less. I hope you're truly getting on fine too. 7:56 PM ·